What I'm into (July 2013 Edition)

July has been a weird month, full of lots of uncomfortable revelations about myself! But hey, that's a good thing I think. It is good to learn, to grow.
I enjoy sharing about books and other things that I love so thought I'd link up with Leigh's "What I'm into" quickly this month.

Books I finished

"Happier at Home" by Gretchen Rubin: I just finished this one a few days ago. I have got back into using the library as a way of attempting to limit my over-indulgent and unrealistic book-buying habit. So I had this one out twice as I didn't quite get through it the first time. I did enjoy it but probably not as much as her first, "The Happiness Project". It's definitely worth reading the first one and if you liked it, you'd want to read this one too.

"Grace for the Good Girl - letting go of the Try-hard life" by Emily P Freeman. This was amaaaaazzzzzing. It was sort of like she wrote it just for me. (She didn't, but I can pretend). So many revelations. So much wisdom. So much that has challenged and convicted me about my behaviour, and so much that has set me free. She has articulated things that I knew somewhere inside me but that hadn't cemented in my heart. If you grew up in a good Christian home, if you struggle with expectations and pressure, if you have anxiety and worry in your life, if you feel like you have to do-and-be-it-all, then I highly recommend this book.

Books I'm currently reading

"A french affair" and "Summer of Love" by Katie Fforde. She is my favourite chick-lit author. It's light, funny, romantic and easy to read. Both of these are library picks too. Escapism at it's best!

"Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain. I've been interested in reading this one for a while and I hope I can get through it before I need to return it. My stamina with non-fiction isn't particularly high. It is a good read and a fascinating subject. My beautiful 5 year old daughter is an introvert, and my hubs and I sway right on the line between introvert and extrovert and probably lean more towards introversion. I've gotten right into the whole Myers Briggs personality stuff recently and am looking forward to seeing what this book has to say.

"The Story of God, the Story of Us" by Sean Gladding. I bought this one a couple of years ago and am still really keen on reading it. I struggle with regular scripture reading, and I'm hoping this could help bring the bible back to life for me. It is the story of the bible, told chronilogically, from the point of view of the people who were there, living it. Well written and profound but requires concentration. 

On my TV

Doctor Who! Of course. I watched all of the most recent season (I loooovvveee Clara) and started from the beginning last year too. We just hit the end of season 2 and I cried, cried, CRIED during "Doomsday". Sob. Hanging out now for the 50th anniversary special, and then more tears during this years Christmas special when we say goodbye to the 11th Doctor. SOB again.

The Delicious Miss Dahl. This is a cooking show by Brit and ex-supermodel Sophie Dahl. I rented it out and it is beautiful, just beautiful. Hopefully we'll get it on TV here one day. I definitely recommend this along with her cooking books too. I made her Toffee Apple Crumble recently and yes, it is as good as it sounds.

The Great British Sewing Bee. A school mum recommended this one and I watched some episodes on YouTube. It's great. British programs have such normal people in them! Wonderful. This is a refreshing departure from Project Runway. If you like watching people sew and construct garments, but don't like the cattiness and all that, then check this one out.

The Big Bang Theory. Hubby and I love this one. We own series 1-5 and it's great watching them in order to figure out how things actually happened. I think TVNZ kept mucking up things for a while there, in any case we could never work out if something was a repeat or new. And Penny said "I LOVE YOU" to Leonard last night!!! Eek!!!

Music

Jill Phillips had some albums up on NoiseTrade last month and I got "In this Hour". I love "Nobody's got it all Together" and it was great to hear another of hers. The title track is poignant for my season of life "You can try, but happiness is found, right here in this house, in this room, in this hour".

Also loving Sons of Korah. My husband got given this for his birthday last year and it is beautiful, haunting, peaceful.

Film

I can't say that we ever watch many movies but we have seen a couple lately - Captain America, which was good fun and great to see a real excellent moral protagonist. Highly recommended for pre-teen/teenage boys actually. And Sound City, which is a project by Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters and Nirvana. A great music film and worth watching even if you're not a rock music nut like my husband, I still really enjoyed it and there were so many incredibly profound musical moments.

Internet

I've been on a bit of a money/budgeting buzz this last month, and have enjoyed reading through the archives of And Then We Saved. Anna makes being frugal sound more fun than it is. Ha.

I just adore the Red Velvet girls and their blogs - A Beautiful Mess, Skunkboy Blog, and Smile & Wave.

Megan from SortaCrunchy blogged for 7 days in a row last week - no small feat with twin 6 month old boys! I loved reading so much from her, she is one of my faves.

And I love anything from Tina Francis - this one and this one were great treats.

Coming out of a couple of months of injuries and sickness, I'm hoping that August holds less stress and more fun times for our family. I tend to bunker down in August and start furiously indulging in retail therapy since we are stuck inside so much. But we have been having some lovely warm days for winter, my daughter has a new bike, so who knows - we may even go walking some days. I've been enjoying doing some painting and sewing too.

What about you? Anyone discovered anything exciting in July?

xx Sarah

Looking for God in all the wrong places...

I just wrote a comment on Twitter that went like this: "Revelation of the night: God is not on Twitter. If it's God you need, and it always is, you won't find him on social media. Switch off".
When we are lonely and searching it seems that we take those emotions and searchings out to our 21st century version of the journal, to all of our 279 "friends" on facebook, and our Twitter followers, and all of their friends and followers. It's an insane way to live but it is so tempting. It's the equivalent of dangling the fishing line in the water, just to see what's there. I think we're always hoping that we'll get some amazing comment or connection, some incredibly deep and compassionate person will respond to us and we'll all of a sudden realise that No, I am not Alone In The World.
It's a big lie and a big trap because 99 times out of 100 no one responds, and our inner insecurities that say "No one cares" are confirmed, and for all of our social-media-fishing-line-cast-outs we end up feeling a whole heap more terrible than when we started out.
When we are in that place it is Jesus Christ that we need. He alone can fill the gaping hole in our hearts. If you think that being married does it, or having a "bestie" does it, or a great church, or parents living around the corner... well you're wrong. Loneliness is a snake that bites in any situation and the only cure for it is found in the arms of God.
I think of the Psalms and remind myself of how many times the writers cried out to God, "Why have you abandoned me?" Our emotions matter and they are real and sometimes it does feel like you have no one. But we do have God. He never leaves, he never fails, he is real and constant and he can be trusted more than our fickle feelings can.
If you're in that place of alone tonight, just know that you're not alone, and that it will pass. I write it for myself, in a season of blessing and of growing another life inside me, and yet it is in these seasons that I always feel the most isolated and the most lonely. This time I choose to fight my feelings and attempt to take it to God, and I will trust him with the next five and a half months and pray that it goes by quickly.
So perhaps it's naive of me to write a post like this, having begun by saying not to take your pain to social media, and yet here I am voicing it... but it's real for where I'm at and it may be my story for the rest of the year. God is here with me and I'll testify to it even when it hurts. At times like this there is nothing that a person could do for me, it is all up to God. Remember to pray for your friends, lift each other up and cover each other, because it is the Lord that we need and it is he that will bring healing and change our hearts.
Cyber hugs and love and prayers to all of you.
Sarah xx

A rant about teen girls mags and Bella

So this is the latest "Girlfriend" magazine, with Lea Michele from Glee in her undies. Great, isn't it? Doesn't it just make you so happy? Especially when you know that Girlfriend's target audience is 12-17 year old girls.
I'm being sarcastic, in case you hadn't guessed it. I had to rent this from the library because I couldn't bear to pay money for it. I have got to say, what is up with this pose, as well?! You see it too often. Tina Francis from SheLovesMagazine wrote an awesome write up about this for her column, which I loved, where she uses the example of Beyonce: "Take Beyonce’s music video “Run the World” for example. Ms. Knowles is singing about female empowerment on all fours in front of a car... How does a woman living in today’s world define “dignity” when the media tells us we are most appreciated on our knees, half-dressed, preferably in front of an automobile."
And the thing that really bugs me is that these 12-17 year old girls are going to be posing just like Miss Lea Michele on their facebook pages and their cellphones, with no idea of the implications. The state of our world and the trashy messages our girls are sent just makes me feel sick to my stomach.
We accept so much of what we see in magazines, on screen, in music videos and on t shirts and in advertisements without question. How much of it is shaping our perceptions of ourselves? A lot, in my opinion. There are a lot of shows that I just can't watch more than 5 minutes of without feeling terrible about myself and angry at the world. All the Top Model shows, for example. (I know that many of you love them so won't agree.) Glee, is another one. Loved the singing, hated the content, hated how it made me feel, and just had to give it up.
I'm not sure what the makers of the standard teen girl mags are thinking when they produce some of this content. Perhaps they think they are giving girls what they want - that girls know all about sex anyway and are obsessed with getting boyfriends, therefore they need to cater to that with their content and the way they word the answers to their questions. Read the "advice" columns in these magazines, you'll get advice all right - a manual about sex. While they often tell girls that you shouldn't have sex until you are ready, they don't go into enough detail or enough of the WHY. There's no talk of emotional consequences, and the amount of information they give makes it seem like getting into a sexual relationship in your early and mid teens is so normal. Oh, and another cringe factor - one of the "guys we love" in this months issue is an actor from the tv show "The Almighty Johnsons", from the makers of Outrageous Fortune - a show with unbelievably explicit content. I think I might have to throw my television out the window when my girl turns 12. No, I say that flippantly - but I will be watching what she watches and talking about it with her.
Anyway. There is hope. Hope in the form of Bella magazine. Bella is produced in Australia by an amazing group of women from Toowomba, Queensland, and is an alternative to these other girls mags, aimed at 13-19 year old girls. We have the rights here in New Zealand to make our own version of it, and I'm excited for the day when that becomes a reality. Bella is not a Christian magazine, (though those of us who are behind it are Christians), it is something any girl will relate to. But it gives a much more balanced view of the issues and questions that girls have, and is all about helping girls realise their unique value, strength and purpose. With Bella we say that girls are valuable, are worthwhile, just because of who they are - just because they exist. Not because of anything they can do or offer a man, not because of their looks or their body, not if they meet a list of expectations: skinny enough, popular enough, well-dressed enough. Just.Because.You.Are.You.
I love this answer in the latest Bella when a girl writes about how she hates herself, and asks how she can keep her sense of value. "Every girl is beautiful! Bella believes that you are beautiful and we want you to believe you are beautiful, awesome, precious and have worth - not just some of the time but ALL of the time. If people are mean to you, then they are not your friends. You deserve better than that, and you don't need to allow people to be mean to you. It may seem like a hard thing to leave your group and meet some new friends, but if they mostly make you feel bad and hate yourself, then that is wrong of them. That is not how friends act. You don't need to be surrounded by a big group of people to realise how beautiful and amazing you are. Sometimes just one friend is all that is needed to realise the truth and to help you like yourself." (from Bella Summer 2011/2012)
We are just at the beginning of the journey with Bella, so please if you like what you hear then get involved. Find our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter, and buy a subscription!
There are many things in my life that I love and are passionate about at the moment, and Bella is one of them, so I felt I needed to write about it. I hope it's inspired someone.
And speaking of things that are inspiring me, I got given "Lioness Arising" by Lisa Bevere for my birthday, and I just loved this on the first page:

YES. YES. YES.
xx Sarah