Hello 2014! It's about time... and my One Word.

Hi everyone!

HUGE big long absence from me, I'm sorry not sorry, I've been busy having a lovely summer off and doing things like below:

We had a blissful holiday away camping this year. Shocking, I know. I highly recommend camping with another family with smallish kids, if you've got smallish kids. It really was a pleasure. It helps if they're lovely people too, which ours were. Hooray!

Since then it's been the hard work of settling back into life, and actually trying to do some things to make life run a bit more smoothly around here. These things take time, and to be honest I don't know how I will manage blogging and doing creative things alongside running a home and being a wife and mother. It's a juggling act and any hopes of blogging with any sort of regularity or scheduled timetable is probably unrealistic for me in this stage of life.

Last year my One Word for the year was Rest. (You can read about the whole One Word thing here, if you're interested - I'm too exhausted to explain it.) (Ha.) I needed that word. It was very, very good that I chose a word to fall back on, to focus me, to remind me of what and who I needed to be and do that year.

I feel like I learned a lot last year, and I have some regrets and some lessons I'd like to allow to change me. It was good to learn to rest. I needed to know that I did not need to have a social engagement on every single day of the week, morning and afternoon. It was excellent to cull that right back. It was good to learn to take holidays and be intentional about scheduling them in. It was good to not just say YES to everything I felt excited about, or had a heart for, and instead to say No, because saying No meant saying Yes to resting.

But the result of saying No a lot, and to staying home a lot, and to not being social, is that I did unintentionally cut myself off from people a little. I didn't make as much effort as I had hoped in some special friendships. There are people in my life who I wish I'd given a little more attention to, or made an attempt to sacrifice a bit of me time in order to have a bit of us time. I got a little lonely and isolated without intending to.

So in praying and pondering a word for this year, I'd like to announce:

Share.

Not in the social media sense. I hope that this one-word will not mean that I share what I eat for dinner every night on facebook. (It won't, don't worry)

In 2014 I'd like to let people in. To share my life with others. To share my heart. To share my faith. And to share what I have.

In practical terms so far this will hopefully mean having more people around the table for meals in my home; being more intentional about connecting with girlfriends I love and having meaningful conversation with them; continuing to be in my community in my kids schools and kindergarten, talking and listening and being myself; and being open to sharing the things that God lays on my heart to anyone who wants to listen or to whoever seems right.

This will take bravery and courage on my part. It will also take good boundaries and a good dose of Godly security in myself. It will take regular time with God to be full enough to be able to overflow for others. And it is important that I share first with my husband and children, the absolute most important people in my world.

How about anyone else? Did you choose a one-word?
(As an aside, I find it easier to comment on Blogger if I have a Gmail account and I'm signed in before I start to write. Otherwise for some weird and completely irritating reason, my comment disappears. I'm sorry it's not more user friendly. I may switch to another provider at some stage if I can get my head around it!)

xx Sarah

Currently reading: Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the extraordinary nature of everyday life - Shauna Niequist. An altar in the world - Barbara Brown Taylor. The In-between - Jeff Goins. Homestyle magazine.

Currently listening to: The Art of Simple Podcast, Home - Kim Walker and Skyler Smith.

Currently watching: Doctor Who Season 3, the new Big Bang Theory, NCIS season 4 and the new season, Kirsties Vintage Home.

It doesn't have to be perfect...

So I've been noticeably (or un-noticeably?) absent, probably due to my One Word - Rest. It's sort of ironic to spend all your time on the computer writing about resting. So I've been trying to rest instead. Not that I've been necessarily succeeding but there you go. One can only try.

I thought I'd write a short post about something that's been helping me get through this 3-kids-5-and-under season (kind of relevant to the above paragraph actually!).

 

You can take or leave the pretty picture, but the saying makes a lot of sense to me.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

What this means to me is: Don't let your unrealistic and massive expectations of yourself ruin the results that you are actually able to achieve. Don't let the fact that it "doesn't look/feel/seem like I imagined" steal what it is... which is good.

For anyone who has either perfectionist tendencies or is a bit OCD I think it's good to remember that sometimes, it's okay to just do what you can, with what you have, where you're at. It's good to dream and plan and all that, but sometimes life and circumstances and reality just get in the way, and we can't quite manage what we thought we'd be able to.

Don't let the myth of Perfect rob you of the joy to be found in the everyday moments of life.

When you send a letter or parcel to a friend, don't be disappointed that it was missing a hand-made toy or that you didn't manage to get to the shops to put chocolate in it too. Celebrate that you actually did do something. You put something in the post. You made an effort. You cared.

If you are always too tired or disorganised or poor to send anything in the post, realise that the fact that you text your friends and pray for them actually really does matter. And that people really appreciate a listening ear. And that doesn't have to cost you anything.

When it's your kids birthday party and you've been surfing Pinterest and pinning all the cute, themed yummy hand-made food but on the day you've had a kid with a broken arm and another kid in hospital and you're shattered and in the end you just don't quite manage the all-important vision... remember, you've thrown them a birthday party. They smiled, they blew out some candles, they had fun. Have fun yourself, don't let Perfect steal fun and memories from you.

When your home and your marriage and your parenting and your career and your church just don't look or feel like you think they really should, remember that things don't have to be perfect to be good. Your baby might not sleep or eat like those babies you see everywhere else, but you know what? Your baby is your baby and no baby is "perfect". Your house might not look like a magazine spread but neither do the houses in the magazines. They were cleaned and styled like nothing else for a few hours with a photographer. It's not reality. No church or pastor will ever tick every box that you have in your head for what the "perfect" church should be. The one you have can still be good. Really good. So can your husband, your job, your town.

So in this season where I have lots of dreams and ideas but pretty much zero energy to achieve them, I'm grateful for what I have, grateful for the chances to do what I love with the people I adore. I won't let Perfect rob me of what is good in my life.

What about you? What are the areas where the desire to be perfect can rob you of what is actually pretty good?

xx Sarah

My One Word for 2013

Around the internet in Christian Blogging particularly, there is a movement (for lack of a better word) that encourages people to choose one word for their year. More than a new years resolution, it's something to focus on for the year, something to let shape you and your decisions.

The One Word 365 website says it well: "Forget New Years resolutions. Scrap that long list of goals you won't remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word. One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long."

I've wanted to do this for 2013 but have been praying and pondering for two weeks now, and the only word that I have in my mind seems... well... "wussy". For anyone who doesn't know that word (and didn't go to primary school in New Zealand), that means that I think my word is a cop-out. Chicken. A bit sort of unimpressive and lazy. But I think that it is right for me, for where myself and my family find ourselves, and it is something I need to learn.

Rest. Yep. Spectacular huh?

I'm resigned to it now, and here's what I think it means for me.

I need to learn to rest, physically. To stop, spend time being quiet, reading the bible, looking around me, and not worrying about what I need to do next.

I need to rest from my obsessive need to be involved in thing, to be "in the know". I wrote last year about resting from my own expectations. I'm still learning that.

To rest with my children. Instead of being so busy that I hardly have time to look at them, I want to look into their eyes, play with them, and talk to them.

As a family I want us to schedule life around rest, instead of scheduling our rest around our life (and therefore never resting). I want to take weekends away with friends. Have people over to share food with and chat. To see my husband getting active rest - he rests by being physical. To make time for him to be able to do things he loves and that are restful for him. And when he does the same for me, to choose wisely and to actually rest, not rush around "doing" stuff.

How this fits with all my high and lofty intentions to read lots of books, write more, and re-do my house, I have no idea. But I'll keep you posted.

Has anyone else chosen their one word?

If you'd like to know more, check out these websites and blogs:

The One Word 365 website.

Sarah Bessey shares her One Word.

SheLoves Magazine writes about the One Word movement.

Nish at Nish Happens shares hers.

xx Sarah.