What I'm into, November 2013 edition

November, what a month! My baby girl is ONE. One, people. She has brought our family so much joy. What a treasure.

Here's what I'm into this month, all categorised for those of you who are even remotely interested in how I spend my time:

Books

• The Harry Potter Series, again. I am such a Potter nut. I love it. Whenever I just want to enjoy reading for the sake of reading, I end up back here. This latest bought started when I picked up the Chamber Of Secrets at a secondhand shop. Then I got Order of the Phoenix at the library book sale. And on it goes.  Don't knock it till you've tried it.
• Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I got this one out of the library upon the recommendation of Jen Hatmaker in Seven, and Shauna Niequist in Bread and Wine. It is great, but I was overly optimistic that I could get through a book like this. I will be getting it out to finish when on summer holiday next month.
• Interupted by Jen Hatmaker. Enjoying, not yet finished. 
• Reading Bread and Wine again on Kindle (By Shauna Niequist). I read this one in the flesh (Paper?!) when I bought it for a friend in April, so I am reading it now in a weird order, finding the bits I liked and the recipes I wanted to try. Roasted broccolli OH MY how you have changed my life. 
• I started and finished Nice girls don't change the world by Lynne Hybels in the space of about a half hour. It's a small book, it's a life-changing book. I was leant it years ago by people who said "This reminds me of you". I felt exhausted at the thought of it. I thought the book would be telling me to stop being nice and start being domineering and bossy and forthright and to go out there and do Important Things. Turns out, most of the book is spent talking about being less busy doing all the things you think a "Nice" christian woman should do. I should have read this years ago. (There's that should word). If I had taken the messages to heart I could have saved myself a lot of stress. Anyway. I'm glad I read it and I will read it again and copy out passages. 
• I started, optimisticly, A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren. I'm reading this one as it's one Sarah Bessey recommends. Sounds good so far and I'm hoping I can stick with it.

Movies & TV

Images via Caitlyn Murphy on Pinterest

• Doctor Who - finally got my next disc - we are at the start of season 3. Poor Doctor, without Rose. *Sob* And can we STOP for a moment and talk about the 50th anniversary special?!?!? Seriously, on a superficial level - I want Rose's hair. On a non-superficial level, how dare my children all decide to cry and not sleep on this most auspicious night. I watched this in spurts - missed the start, watched the bits with the machine that goes DING, missed some more, caught Rose in the shed, missed the stuff with the bomb, saw the end. Then watched it through from the beginning recorded. There just aren't any words for how much I loved it. LOVED it.

• New Girl on DVD, sometimes I love it and feel so happy when I watch it, sometimes I just feel like I want it to end. At the moment I'm in the just-want-it-to-end state. In fact, I returned my last DVD without finishing it because I was so Meh. Some other time I'll be in the right space for it. 
• Les Miserables. Another finally moment, I missed this at the movies because of a new baby. I just adored it. I listened to the cassette tape as a child and teenager over and over religiously. I had never see the stage show. So it was amazing to see the songs and the storyline come to life in such a beautiful and heart-wrenching fashion. 
• I would also like to make an unashamed kids+TV plug for Tiki Tour, on every morning at 6.30am. They are currently touring our country, which is so cool, as I am learning all sorts of fascinating things about small towns in the south island! I'm very keen on visiting Oamuru now. Steampunk capital of New Zealand. 

Magazines and publications

• If you have someone in your family or a friend who is into IT or web design, apps and suchlike - I highly recommend Offfscreen magazine. They ship around the world and it is a beautiful publication. Incredibly inspiring and interesting for those who are all technical-like. (Not me, clearly, but my husband).
• Sweet Paul magazine. I adore this magazine. Cooking and crafting and beautiful things. It is really easy to read online and even prints out beautifully. The best thing is the current Christmas Kids issue, available as an iPad version or as a PDF. So many amazing things. SO MANY. Get it! Print it out! You'll treasure it forever. (And for anyone obsessed with miniature things, like myself, check out the adorable feature below). 
  
• Flow magazine and 101 Woonideeen from the Netherlands. My lucky lucky in-laws have been overseas trotting around Europe. They are forgiven for having such a good time because they send me magazines I ask them to find. Flow magazine has an International version too, in English, but they sent me the Dutch version, which I love. (I already have the international versions). And 101 Woonideeen is the most brilliant interiors magazine. I just love the Dutch and Scandinavian style. So many cool ideas. Again, not in English, but google translate to the rescue if you ever want to know what the words say. The pictures more than make up for it. 
  
  
  

Crafting & Making

• New category to share the creative things I've been into each month. Excited much! I've been making ornaments from Mollie Makes magazine - the year before last's Christmas edition! They're cute. I want to design and make my own one year so thought trying out other peoples patterns would be a good way to learn.
• I made these car seat pillows for my kids when we went on a road trip recently. They were good but Mister 3 was grumpy, pillow or no pillow. They took a lot of time and the pattern, which I was a good honest person and paid for from etsy, just wasn't as easy to find as I'd hope for $8 US. It needed photos and clearer steps. But I'm glad I tried it.
• I've started the Modern Patchwork Ecourse from Rachel at Smile and Wave. I made the Stars in your Eyes pillow. I mucked up piecing it together which is annoying - got one bit upside down. But it still looks ok and as it's just for my home I'm living with it. I figure that the first time I do something, I'm learning, so mistakes are okay. 
• Trying to finish off a cross stitch from Wee Little Stitches on Etsy. They are great, easy to follow, simple - but it just all takes time. I've been working on this one since March. I've just not sat down and put serious hours into it like it needs. Aiming to get it done by Christmas but would like it done before so I can choose some more for gifts. 

General Life Loveliness

 We have had some lovely times this spring, holidays with friends, a walk around the lake in baby season, and unexpected trips back up to our hometown. Meet Lola the lamb. I know. So precious.
My wee vegetable garden is thriving due to the act of planting Borage in it. Word to the wise - this plant grows, man. It's more than a metre tall and wide. But it's done great things for the rest of the plot. Does anyone need any silverbeet, by the way?

So enough from me, what are you into this month? I'm linking up with Leigh and the lovely people who know her. Check out everyone elses posts by clicking the button - you're sure to find some Christmas gift ideas!

xx Sarah

(I can't get the button to work, but link up with Leigh here)

What I'm Into Link Up Guidelines: - See more at: http://www.leighkramer.com/#sthash.4jIie8L2.dpuf

Writing as Me

One of the things that I get anxious about in regards to writing, is the fear that people think I'm representing someone, or something, when I write. I worry that if I have an opinion on a subject, people may automatically assume that my husband holds the same opinion - that I speak for him, or for my family, or my church.

So I've been wanting to do a confessional of sorts, a disclaimer, to make it clear that my thoughts and words are entirely my own. All the posts here are my own thoughts, ideas, and opinions. They don't reflect my family, my husband, or my church. They are uniquely mine. (I think I may have just repeated the same thing often enough now to make my point...) And in order to become a better writer, I need to feel free to write as myself, without fear of offence or misunderstanding.

So in order to do so, and probably just because I'm paranoid, here are some true-for-now statements about myself that inform my perspective and my view of life, and therefore my writing. Some deep, some shallow, but most aren't things that people close with me will necessarily agree with.

In no order particularly:

Source: Pinterest. Illustrator: Caroline Hadilaksono.

1. I love Harry Potter. The books, not so much the movies. I don't think they are evil or lead kids into witchcraft. I read them again, and again, and again. The female characters are some of the best ever written, in terms of role-model quality, and for that reason alone if my children want to read them when they are older (over 11 years I think) I won't be stopping them. I will however use the books as aids to talk about the themes and ideas within and also the issue of the whole witch/wizard thing if needed. My closest family all disagree with me on this one, but there you go.

2. I don't believe hell is a place that God sends people. Just call me your friendly neighbourhood conditionalist. If you have never encountered the idea that this matter was ever up for discussion, check out Rachel Held Evan's Hell series here to learn more. This is not something I ever want to debate, as I don't know my theology well enough, it's not something I'll ever stand head-to-head with another Christian about and argue, it is just a belief of mine in my heart and a place where I feel peace. It is not a central issue to our salvation or our faith, I believe, but it is an issue with evangelism and our modern  evangelism approach. I will never, ever, use hell as an evangelism tool. I believe people should come to Christ for what he has to offer us while alive, for the fullness of joy he gives us, for his unconditional love - for many things - but not because they are afraid of hell.

3. I get overly anxious and worried and am afraid of lots of things. Part of this is post-natal, part of this is childhood, part of this is ENFP overcaring. Telling someone like me "just don't worry about it!" is not that helpful, FYI. Check out this from Buzzfeed: Comics that capture the frustration of anxiety disorders.

Artist: Natalie Dee

4. I don't like exercising. I don't like feeling hot. I hate sweating. And I hate pain. All bad things.

5. I don't force my kids to do what I say "Because I said so". Obedience is not first on my list of parenting values.

6. I would make an amazing Sister Maria. Come one someone, cast me.  You know you want to.

7. I'm not a night person or a morning person. I'm a sleep person. Which makes life with kids near impossible. If I had to choose I am probably more morning than night. But parenting means staying up later than you should just because no one is sitting next to you going "Muum, muuuum, muuuuuum."

8. I really struggle with/hate social media sometimes (a lot of the time). I feel like if I were not on Facebook then I would have no idea what was happening in my friends lives. Because most people don't call, text, or write letters or even emails anymore. They just share everything with their 384 "friends". I miss personal contact and I absolutely treasure the relationships I have with people who text me every so often to check in. I think I need to give what I want to get here too, I need to text and call people, I need to make an effort, if I want people to make one back. So I'm working on that.

9. I judge myself and my life by what I DO way too much. I often count myself as failing or not meeting some high and lofty standard. I need to change. I need to stop saying that I need to change. I need to start saying "I am okay, as I am. I am enough." It is easier to preach stuff to other people than accept it yourself, am I right?

10. I really like the movie "An American Tale 2: Fieval goes west." Don't judge. It's fantastic. Amazing songs. I watched this again and again as a child.

So there you go! That's me. Well, part of me. I represent myself, and I write because I love to. I am going to write here whether people read it or not, because writing helps my soul. And all of the above ten points are probably things that will change and evolve over time, because that is how life goes. Our experiences and our history shifts our perspective, and I am not afraid of that because growth is a good thing. I think I will always love Fieval though...

What about you? Anyone else got stuff they've been afraid to admit?

xx Sarah

What's on my bookshelf

This is a purely indulgent post, about books. Again.
The very lovely Modern Mrs Darcy is hosting a link-up where people show what's on their bookshelves. Are you the sort of person who goes to a person's home and immediately (trying to be not quite as obvious as you obviously are) checks out their books? You can tell a lot about people by the sorts of things they have on display.

Our bookshelf situation is a source of despair for us. Our dream is to have floor to ceiling in-built shelving made from solid timber. Instead we have 2 tall, skinny, particle-board shelves in our lounge which hold our favourite books, and about a hundred or two hundred or a thousand books in boxes. One day, one day, we will get them all out.

Here's the top shelves of the two skinny units. For lack of a better place to put them, we have a John Bevere teaching series on the top left that we had high and lofty intentions of watching together, as a couple. *cough*. Moving on. 

A fair few un-read but want-to-read books on that shelf - including Life Interupted, Velvet Elvis, The Practice of Love (have read Idelettes entry and a few others) and an inherited biography of Tolkein that used to be my Poppa's. Below are some loved and well-read favourites including the Wrinkle in Time box-set by Madeleine L'engle, some light but fast-paced reading of hubby's, and the Clarice Bean books for intermediate readers by Lauren Child, my most favourite children's picture book author. 

On the other side we have New Zealand books and music/arts biography's on the top shelf, books that my husband LOVES. If you have a musician in your life then I recommend the Duff McKagan book "It's so easy... and other lies". This was really enjoyed and a powerful sort of redemptive story too. Then Terry Pratchett - his favourite. Snuck in a couple of my Madeleine L'engle books there too. 

Next down we have my mostly Christian fiction shelf (with Harry Potter leaning rebelliously on top - ha!). I love the Heirs of Cahira O'Connor series by Angela Elwell Hunt. They are brilliant. Most of her books are on this shelf - I discovered her through a book club a few years ago where we read The Silver Sword. I wasn't sure from the description that I'd be interested, but it ended up being one of my most favourite books ever. I'm thankful to my friend for choosing it! 

The book "Staying alive" is a beautiful collection of poetry gifted to me by my grandmother. I have a couple of Joyce Meyer books on these shelves but haven't been able to get into either of them. I like her teaching to a certain extent but I find her writing style difficult. Just personal preference I think.

Below is a hodge-podge of non-fiction gardening, pregnancy and arts books along with Barry Crump of my husbands.

Christian books on the right - Philip Yancey, well-read and appreciated. One Thousand Gifts, Grace-based Parenting (still reading), Boundaries (need to read), Lioness Arising (struggling to get into), and below that are Christian memoir/biographys: Bonhoeffer - my husband enjoyed this so much he was considering the name Dietrich for our next baby! Anne Lamott: Travelling Mercies, oh my heart. Then my precious Madeleine L'engle books. She is my most-loved author, for the longest time, since my mother gave me "A ring of endless light" as a pre-teenager. The Crosswicks journals are there, along with "A stone for a pillow", "Bright evening star", "Penguins and golden calves", and the ultimate life-changer "Walking on Water". There's Adrian Plass there too who we both utterly adore.

 Bottom shelves are a bit of a mess. More favourite Terry Pratchett's, and the Narnia Series. On the other side, Lord of the Rings and the beefy dictionary (I think this may have been my Poppa's also).

Bottom shelves are art and interesting coffee table books. Some favourite artists are in there: Da Vinci, Dali - plus a few of my interior and architecture books from my studies. I used to love Tricia Guild, I still do. Her use of colour and pattern is inspiring and her books are beautiful. Archeology and rock music books for my husband. Fairy tales and Calvin & Hobbes for fun. 

Thanks for snooping my shelves! Maybe I'll do a follow up when we have the floor to ceiling ones. Probably when I'm 80. Sigh.

I hope you're all having a marvellous week. My baby girl turns one on Thursday, so my life is flashing before my eyes. Where does the time go?

xx Sarah

Linking up with Modern Mrs Darcy today - check out her site and some other bookshelves too!

Jesus made a feminist out of me

When I first began to venture into the world of the internet for more than just checking email, I started with Twitter - figuring that I could follow pastors, Christian people I'd heard of and see if they had anything interesting to say. Some people don't really have anything interesting to say, (and some should really refrain from tweeting during presidential elections - pet peeve), but others generously and strategically use their online presence to connect people to amazing, wonderful things. 
I followed Helen Burns, as a pastor from a big overseas church that I didn't know too much about - and she linked to this: the SheLoves Magazine manifesto, written by Idelette McVicker. The words stirred something in my heart and began a chapter in my faith walk which has changed me for the better. 
Through reading SheLoves Magazine, I stumbled across Sarah Bessey. She wrote monthly on parenting. Cut to my current crazy fan-girl mad state.  I LOVE Sarah's writing, her cute instagram pictures, her book recommendations - plus she's a Whovian (we got into it at the same time), she is a beautifully gentle parent, her daughter loves to make art to raise money for a good cause, she likes to eat and talk and love and laugh and she doesn't apologize for being different.
Kindred Spirit. (She also loves Anne of Green Gables and would totally get that reference).
Sarah Bessey has written a book called "Jesus Feminist" which my husband IS going to order from overseas for me for Christmas. I must tell him this. She's been doing a synchroblog and this is my small puzzle piece to add.

I'm not a scholar or a theologian. I didn't study women's issues at university. I may not be "qualified" to add to this conversation. But when I think about this quote "Jesus made a feminist out of me" I remember that I don't have to begin everything with an apology for what I am not.

Over the last ten years I have left home, got married and had children, moved town and left friends and been forced to make new ones, and my journey with Jesus has been one that has taken me through the wilderness and the desert and then out into lush open fields and stormy seas. I have had times where I thought of myself of being capable of nothing, nothing at all. Where I looked in the mirror and didn't recognise myself. Where I felt totally empty when I thought about God.

I remember in one of those moments, maybe 8 years ago, being on holiday with my husband and having a God-encounter at dinner with an old friend and one of her friends - two true Jesus feminists. Pizza and conversation turned into prayer and tears as one of them, Emily, prayed over me and spoke the words "Arise, Arise!"

Jesus calls the feminist in me out of hiding. Jesus tells me to no longer stand behind my husband, quiet in his shadow, where it may feel safe and I am not noticed. Jesus has gently and compellingly beckoned my true nature out from behind the walls I built up, and he tells me that I have a part to play. I have a story to tell. I have a song to sing. I have paint to put to canvas, I have ideas and opinions and thoughts that need to be spoken.

To be a feminist is to consider that "women are people, too", by Sarah Bessey's definition.
Sometimes without even realising it, we rank ourselves lower or less important than our husbands or other significant men in our life, for whatever reason - whether it's money, or position, or a vague sense of who "should" make the decisions. I would urge you to re-think those beliefs, if you have them, and to listen to the voice of the Spirit inside of you. God is not just man, but woman - we are both created in his image, male and female. When we deny women the right to speak, or we decide not to speak and bring our thoughts to the conversation, people will only see half of who God is. We need to see the whole. We need to hear the whole heart of God, male and female. We need to read books by men and women, have men and women speaking at our conferences, have men and women leading in our churches and our workplaces. We are best when we are together, each giving the other equal opportunity to share, and valuing each other's input even when we don't understand it. This is the kingdom of God. Beautiful, diverse, messy, passionate and glorious, and full of voices calling out the life God has placed inside them.

I had a word over me earlier this year that God had placed living things inside of me, precious living things, and that I would have to birth them like I birth a child - painful and without much control over the timing. But that God was my midwife and he aid, guide, protect and assist me as a midwife would while I labour.

I'm thankful God is all things. Male and female, midwife, mother, teacher, queen and king. And I'm thankful that Jesus made a feminist out of me and calls me, still, to Arise.

xx Sarah

Reading, reading, and some more reading.

Earlier this year I blogged about wanting to read all the books I bought over the last few years and have just sat around... a giant pile. So far I've read one - yes one - from that pile (applause, anyone?), but I've read 2 other non-related books, if that counts for anything?

Anyway, they were great, so here's my thoughts.

From the pile I started with "Loving our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk. This one had come recommended from Sarah Bessey's list of books that influenced her parenting, and it's a good'un. I'm a bit useless with self-help, non-fiction, fix-it type books - but this one was easy to read, relevant, and not nauseating and annoying (James Dobson, I'm looking at you...). I've taken many tidbits away from this book and applied them to my life, and there are others which I'm still going to work on. Silk's approach is non-traditional and therefore immediately appealing to me, non-conformist that I am (a friend recently called me this after spending four days with me - I wasn't aware this is what I am! Hilarious). He turns us away from a punishment-based system of parenting, towards a system of choices and consequences. What is your main goal in parenting? That your kid does exactly what you say, all the days of his life? Or that your kid is able, one day, to step into the big wide world, full of choices and possibilities and temptations, and choose wisely. We model to our kids what God is like. Is God up in heaven with a big stick, waiting to smack us with it each time we step out of line? No. Yet isn't it amazing how many of us grow up thinking that, even into adulthood.
The idea of a 2 choice system has already worked really well with my rough-and-tumble toddler. Mister 2 year old will lose.the.plot. very quickly when he puts his mind to it. Goes straight from asking once for something, to shrieking the house down. The 2 choice system has helped a lot. For example, when he is leaning so far into the baby capsule that he is probably going to suffocate his sister, I can give him 2 choices - "Buddy? Want to put your shoes on, or watch tv?" for example. Thus getting him away from the poor baby without having to physically drag him. I didn't believe it until I tried it - but Danny Silk talks about taking the struggle from a toddlers body to his brain. So when they're fighting you on something, give them 2 choices, then they have to think - often distracting them from the initial issue. It works brilliantly for us. The ones we use the most are "Hold hands or stay home", when heading out the front door (we live on a main street and he would throw a fit about holding hands when we walk out the door - but it's a non-negotiable for me). Also at dinner time when he doesn't want to eat - "In the bath straight away, or finish your beans?" This has often meant he'll eat his dinner. Big triumph. The book also stresses how important it is to say things in a neutral way, "Happy voices!" as we say in our house. Early on he makes the excellent point that no one controls us - not our kids, not our spouse, not even God in fact - the only one who controls us is us. Therefore the greatest thing and the best tool you can bring to your parenting is self-control.
Not challenging at all, right? Ha. An empowering book but I'm not saying it's easy to live like this! Choices, choices, every day for parents and kids.

 Next up is "Is it just me?" by Miranda Hart. Of "Miranda" tv fame - anyone? Who else is a fan? Such fun!
I requested this one from the library because I wanted a laugh, and it is a laugh. The book is a series of observations on the awkwardness of life, presented as a conversation between herself as a 38 year old and her 18 year old younger self. She takes 18 categories and writes a manual for life - a "Miran-ual", if you will - full of lots of laugh-out-loud moments. In the end however I took from this book much more than a few giggles. Strung throughout the book is the theme of accepting yourself, loving who you are, and being true to you - rather than pretending to be someone else, or be interested in things you're just not into. I can't say how much I admire Miranda for the choices she's made, all the while not sacrificing the things which make her, well, her. I won't spoil the ending, but basically through the whole book her 18 year old self has no idea who she has become, as a 38 year old - and spends the majority of the time mortified at how little of a life she apparently has in the future. The final chapter, on Dreams, is amazing. The final 2 pages are spectacular. I always thought Miranda was funny, but now - I utterly adore her, and she is my hero. I thank you. (< Miranda reference!)

Shortly before I went on holiday I was doing a bit of soul searching, and thinking I wanted reading material to take with me, but nothing disturbing, depressing, or involving child abuse, abduction, bad language, sex scenes, complicated interpersonal relationships - the things most grown-up fiction seems loaded with. So I went back to my love of childrens classic literature. I have a pile I'd intended to read, but I began with an author unfamiliar to me that I came across in this brilliant post - "10 books you must read to your daughter - or How to Keep Your Daughter from Ending up like that Horrid Girl in Twilight". There were a few on her list that I hadn't read, but in the comments I came across Lloyd Alexander as a suggestion so his name had been in the back of my mind. I got out "The Fantastical Adventures of the Invisible Boy" from the library, purely because it was the only one of his there. I loved it. His writing is wonderful, and the story was fascinating - of a young boy who is kept home sick, and feels "invisible" due to the fact that people look through him and don't see him, so he spends his time drawing pictures and inventing exciting stories in his head. He gets a tutor, an older family relative called Aunt Annie who he nicknames the "Gorgon" or "Gawgon" - and they develop an unlikely friendship in real life and in his stories. My favourite passage is this: "Exactly when, I could not be sure, but it was during one of those summer afternoons that The Gawgon captured my total devotion and allegiance. Because she saw me for whatever I was. No longer the Amazing Invisible Boy, with her I had nothing to hide. She made me feel my mind was free to do as it pleased. A mystery of the heart? I could not solve it, nor did I care to. In any case, I came to imagine her as a mistress of time and space, expert in all disguises, who went wherever she chose, did whatever she chose, knew all that was to be known. To me, she was capable of everything and anything." 
I can't wait to read The Chronicles of Prydain next.

Lastly is one I'm still midway through, but am thoroughly enjoying, and it's influencing a lot of my decisions - "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. Given to me by a dear friend for my birthday, it's a fascinating exploration on what really makes us happy. For one year, the author set about making herself happier - and she didn't class herself unhappy to begin with, she just wanted to be really happy. Through a series of life rules, commandments, and subjects, she explores in a funny and extremely thoroughly researched manner the subject of happiness, and how to be more happy, within the context of being yourself. It's fab. It's given me permission to do things you enjoy, just because they make you happy. That it's not indulgent to be happy. Why do we not let ourselves do things, "Just for fun"? We are a bunch of bores sometimes! It was reading the first chapter of the book that led me to spend 10 days away on holiday, potentially spending most of that alone - not something I'd have normally been able to do. But I realised that something that made me infinitely happy was quiet... and that hearing almost no cars go past for 10 days is my definition of bliss. Why on earth would I pass that up? It was a brilliant choice and I have this book to thank! Next up is the sequel she's written, "Happier at home". Sure to be very relevant to me as a stay-at-home mum.

Other things I'm really enjoying are the magazine The Simple Things, the Nester's blog "Nesting Place" and her sister's blog "Chatting at the Sky". And I am also reading on my kindle app on my iPhone, Rachel Held Evans' book "A year of Biblical Womanhood".

Oh, and would you guess why it is that I'm finally reading books again? I stopped using Facebook. I no longer read the news feed. I no longer check my notifications. I no longer know anything about anyone. Occasionally I log on to RSVP to an event, or post a photo. But I feel so free. Sooooooo free. Can't begin to describe it. I highly recommend this as a social experiment of sorts, especially if you're prone to anxiety or taking on a lot of stress from other people's stuff. This article helped me make my mind up. I have to make more effort with texting and calling certain friends now, since I don't see what they do online. But for me that is okay. I have more space in my head now, and more time in real life.

Anyone else have any exciting book recommendations, or things that are making them happy?

xx Sarah

Inspiration while in the baby bubble

Pregnancy and being self-absorbed go hand in hand for me. Just being straight up.

So when there's so little emotional energy left over for anything other than just trying to survive, I'm grateful for little pockets of Wow moments which remind me that there is life outside the baby bubble.

So I thought I'd share a couple today.

The first is Christa Black, who is back blogging again and has her book being released in about a week. I own this book and will be buying copies over and over for people now it's out again. It's life changing. Check her out at www.christablack.com.

Then the next one, courtesy of Christa, is this video. Beyonce - it's unbelievable. Totally worth your time.

Thoughts on this day, Mothers day

Today it's Mother's day, and I thought I'd write a wee something, in the honour of trying to write shorter posts more often :)
A rough start today, with hubby out insane-early to church and me having my first ever Sunday on Kids this morning (what an eye-opener), with lots of things to remember to bring and organise. Add to that a small boy who decided it was fun to use his snuggly lamb toy as a whip on his sister, and said sister walloping him back - all while I was trying to type out PowerPoint song lyrics on the kids computer - and I was exhausted before I even arrived!
But after church and after a meltdown my husband gave me this:

Oh yes. Not just 4 pieces either, which still would have been great, but heaps of pieces. And no, I'm not sharing. Well, I will share it with him since he paid for it but not with anyone else!  (And he didn't go out and buy it after I had a meltdown, he'd already got it. Plus a hand-made card from my kids. Organised husband, I salute you.)

Mothers day isn't a nice day for everybody. I think of friends who lost their mums well before they should have. I think of relationship breakdowns. I think of the kids today in church who didn't come with a mum, either because she's not around or she isn't the one bringing them to church. I loved Lisa-Jo's post "For the Motherless daughter", she says anything far better than I can and she gets it. I don't think you'd ever understand what it was like to not have a mother unless you didn't have one.

Some memories of my mum from my childhood are around various creative activities, though she probably wouldn't call herself overly creative in an arty sense. I'm grateful she nurtured that in us. School holidays surrounded by Lego villages. One set of holidays where I was obsessed with making clowns - ping pong ball heads, fabric bodies, funny colours. Her teaching me cross stitch, and how to use the sewing machine. As a child, watching her (probably nagging her, more likely), as she sewed us our tracksuits - very trendy in the 80's I have to say - and then getting to go to the shopping mall with her and choose a print from the fancy place where they put a picture on the front of your sweatshirt. The one I remember most was a Persian cat, hideous pastel coloured flowery thing that I adored. Pale pink tracksuit. White blonde bob haircut... you get the picture.

Mum introduced me to my favourite author, Madeleine L'engle. She managed to navigate choosing books for me in my pre-teen years which I just loved, which could have gone very wrong. The Little house series, Anne of Green Gables, Frank Peretti's Cooper Kids adventure books. My most favourite book was the first one she bought me of Madeleine L'engles, called "A ring of endless light". Actually the third book in a series about Vicky Austin and her family. Vicky is the middle child, a poet, misunderstood and hiding in the shadow of her blonde, outgoing younger sister. She explores identity and death and doesn't shy away from issues that sometimes people wouldn't want to discuss with kids that age. As I went into my teens my Grandmother became the one who introduced authors to me. Kate Atkinson's "Behind the scenes at the museum" was the beginning. I loved Carol Sheilds, another introduction from her. A doorway into a new world, grown-up and beautifully written. I haven't had the concentration to stick at books like those for years now, but on my Grandma's 87th birthday this year I bought her "Walking on Water" by Madeleine L'engle, and it is special to be able to reciprocate those moments of book-sharing, and of not knowing you loved something until it landed in your hands and you turned the pages. My Grandma also reads every Jane Austen book, every year, and I haven't done that in years but would love to follow her example once life allows for sitting with a book with long paragraphs and older language again. At the moment life allows for re-reading of extremely easy books, in between breaking up squabbles between small children.

Happy Mothers day, everyone. Whether you are one, or have one, or you don't, I hope you enjoy celebrating today those around you who bring life into the world - for that is indeed the most significant thing about a mother, and something that's gifted not only those of us who have gone through labour and childbirth. Women have in them the inherent characteristics of the creator, and he granted us that gift, the gift of giving life, of creation, of bringing life into the world. We can do this with our words, our friendships, our personality's, and our homes. May you all feel blessed and noticed today, beautiful life-giving women.

Sarah xx

Stuff that is inspiring me at the moment

I am feeling happy tonight, so I am going to share the things that are making me feel happy. Because, shucks, let's make the most of it aye?
Firstly some lovely magazines. Arriving in the mail today was my issue of Mollie Makes and it was as good as I'd hoped! It's nice when high expectations are deserved.

There are so many pages of inspiring crafty yumminess, that I can't believe they manage to do this every month.

And I am so making my own grassy green lawn for my desk:

And I bought Jamie magazine at the supermarket yesterday too. The frozen yoghurt layer cake on the front looks amazing and I am definitely going to try it for summer barbeques with friends.

There is a fun article on picnic food with some very cool kids costumes made from cardboard:

I'm still totally obsessed and addicted to PInterest too. For anyone who hasn't discovered its joy yet, it is an online pinboard or scrapbook of sorts. You create categories, and organise all the inspiring images you find in life and on the net. You can take pictures from the app on your phone while you're out and about, you can use it's "pin" tool when you're surfing the net, and you can just look at everyone elses boards and repin their pins too. Here are some of my favourites from my boards:

Plus some beautiful garden ideas and interior design inspiration:

And cute stuff for the kids!

I've been following Elizabeth Esther on twitter, but only just finally got around to reading her blog and have had such a good giggle this afternoon. She kept mentioning her personality type (ENFP) and I got extremely curious, so took an online test. Surprise, surprise, I am an ENFP too. No wonder I identified so much with her posts, in particular "How an ENFP cleans house" and "I'm a slacker for Jesus".
And I'm loving watching Nigella Bites on TV on tuesday nights. I love her style. And I'm loving how young she is! Which isn't some kind of ageist comment, I love her most recent stuff too, but still - it's entertaining.

And to end on a more serious note, in the weekend I went to a seminar here in Wanganui with guest speaker Letitia Shelton. Letitia is the CEO of City Women in Toowoomba, Australia, an organisation that is having an incredible impact on their city. She describes part of her job as "lighting fires underneath Christians" and that is what she did. For those of us who attended it was a radical wake-up call. She was blunt yet hilarious, depressing yet incredibly uplifting at the same time. Some of the points that have hit home for me the most are:

• The girls in your city are your daughters, and you need to think of them as such - fight for them, believe in them, love them, risk everything for them.
• The sex slave trade doesn't just exist overseas in countries like Cambodia and Africa, it exists here in our countries with magazines like Cosmopolitan that are ensuring our girls grow up believing they are only valuable for what they can do for men, what they look like, how sexy they are, and how thin they are. People of faith need to stand up and fight this rubbish.
• We need to stop trying to get people into our churches and instead we need to take church out to the people.
• You can be a pastor of your city not just a pastor of a church.
• We need each other. Different denominations must come together, different ages must work together. A city in trouble needs a city wide ministry, one church cannot do it alone. We have so much to offer each other. 
• Courage. Do it afraid. The church has been breeding nice women - we've become like robots, like the Stepford wives! There needs to be more dangerous women in the church - women like Rahab, Esther, Deborah. Take risks, speak up, FIGHT. And hooray, she found the quote I mentioned in my post about sisterhood, which is from Matthew Arnold:

"If ever there comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known."

Don't I believe it. I feel overwhelmed and burdened by what I've heard this weekend. There is so much need. I have so many ideas, and I have no idea where to start. I feel in my heart encouraged and strengthened by the group of women that were there. I know that they feel exactly as I do, and in that knowledge I will sleep soundly (well, as soundly as it is as possible to sleep when there's a wriggly 1 year old next to you).

xx Sarah