Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Reading, reading, and some more reading.

Earlier this year I blogged about wanting to read all the books I bought over the last few years and have just sat around... a giant pile. So far I've read one - yes one - from that pile (applause, anyone?), but I've read 2 other non-related books, if that counts for anything?

Anyway, they were great, so here's my thoughts.

From the pile I started with "Loving our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk. This one had come recommended from Sarah Bessey's list of books that influenced her parenting, and it's a good'un. I'm a bit useless with self-help, non-fiction, fix-it type books - but this one was easy to read, relevant, and not nauseating and annoying (James Dobson, I'm looking at you...). I've taken many tidbits away from this book and applied them to my life, and there are others which I'm still going to work on. Silk's approach is non-traditional and therefore immediately appealing to me, non-conformist that I am (a friend recently called me this after spending four days with me - I wasn't aware this is what I am! Hilarious). He turns us away from a punishment-based system of parenting, towards a system of choices and consequences. What is your main goal in parenting? That your kid does exactly what you say, all the days of his life? Or that your kid is able, one day, to step into the big wide world, full of choices and possibilities and temptations, and choose wisely. We model to our kids what God is like. Is God up in heaven with a big stick, waiting to smack us with it each time we step out of line? No. Yet isn't it amazing how many of us grow up thinking that, even into adulthood.
The idea of a 2 choice system has already worked really well with my rough-and-tumble toddler. Mister 2 year old will lose.the.plot. very quickly when he puts his mind to it. Goes straight from asking once for something, to shrieking the house down. The 2 choice system has helped a lot. For example, when he is leaning so far into the baby capsule that he is probably going to suffocate his sister, I can give him 2 choices - "Buddy? Want to put your shoes on, or watch tv?" for example. Thus getting him away from the poor baby without having to physically drag him. I didn't believe it until I tried it - but Danny Silk talks about taking the struggle from a toddlers body to his brain. So when they're fighting you on something, give them 2 choices, then they have to think - often distracting them from the initial issue. It works brilliantly for us. The ones we use the most are "Hold hands or stay home", when heading out the front door (we live on a main street and he would throw a fit about holding hands when we walk out the door - but it's a non-negotiable for me). Also at dinner time when he doesn't want to eat - "In the bath straight away, or finish your beans?" This has often meant he'll eat his dinner. Big triumph. The book also stresses how important it is to say things in a neutral way, "Happy voices!" as we say in our house. Early on he makes the excellent point that no one controls us - not our kids, not our spouse, not even God in fact - the only one who controls us is us. Therefore the greatest thing and the best tool you can bring to your parenting is self-control.
Not challenging at all, right? Ha. An empowering book but I'm not saying it's easy to live like this! Choices, choices, every day for parents and kids.


 Next up is "Is it just me?" by Miranda Hart. Of "Miranda" tv fame - anyone? Who else is a fan? Such fun!
I requested this one from the library because I wanted a laugh, and it is a laugh. The book is a series of observations on the awkwardness of life, presented as a conversation between herself as a 38 year old and her 18 year old younger self. She takes 18 categories and writes a manual for life - a "Miran-ual", if you will - full of lots of laugh-out-loud moments. In the end however I took from this book much more than a few giggles. Strung throughout the book is the theme of accepting yourself, loving who you are, and being true to you - rather than pretending to be someone else, or be interested in things you're just not into. I can't say how much I admire Miranda for the choices she's made, all the while not sacrificing the things which make her, well, her. I won't spoil the ending, but basically through the whole book her 18 year old self has no idea who she has become, as a 38 year old - and spends the majority of the time mortified at how little of a life she apparently has in the future. The final chapter, on Dreams, is amazing. The final 2 pages are spectacular. I always thought Miranda was funny, but now - I utterly adore her, and she is my hero. I thank you. (< Miranda reference!)

Shortly before I went on holiday I was doing a bit of soul searching, and thinking I wanted reading material to take with me, but nothing disturbing, depressing, or involving child abuse, abduction, bad language, sex scenes, complicated interpersonal relationships - the things most grown-up fiction seems loaded with. So I went back to my love of childrens classic literature. I have a pile I'd intended to read, but I began with an author unfamiliar to me that I came across in this brilliant post - "10 books you must read to your daughter - or How to Keep Your Daughter from Ending up like that Horrid Girl in Twilight". There were a few on her list that I hadn't read, but in the comments I came across Lloyd Alexander as a suggestion so his name had been in the back of my mind. I got out "The Fantastical Adventures of the Invisible Boy" from the library, purely because it was the only one of his there. I loved it. His writing is wonderful, and the story was fascinating - of a young boy who is kept home sick, and feels "invisible" due to the fact that people look through him and don't see him, so he spends his time drawing pictures and inventing exciting stories in his head. He gets a tutor, an older family relative called Aunt Annie who he nicknames the "Gorgon" or "Gawgon" - and they develop an unlikely friendship in real life and in his stories. My favourite passage is this: "Exactly when, I could not be sure, but it was during one of those summer afternoons that The Gawgon captured my total devotion and allegiance. Because she saw me for whatever I was. No longer the Amazing Invisible Boy, with her I had nothing to hide. She made me feel my mind was free to do as it pleased. A mystery of the heart? I could not solve it, nor did I care to. In any case, I came to imagine her as a mistress of time and space, expert in all disguises, who went wherever she chose, did whatever she chose, knew all that was to be known. To me, she was capable of everything and anything." 
I can't wait to read The Chronicles of Prydain next.


Lastly is one I'm still midway through, but am thoroughly enjoying, and it's influencing a lot of my decisions - "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. Given to me by a dear friend for my birthday, it's a fascinating exploration on what really makes us happy. For one year, the author set about making herself happier - and she didn't class herself unhappy to begin with, she just wanted to be really happy. Through a series of life rules, commandments, and subjects, she explores in a funny and extremely thoroughly researched manner the subject of happiness, and how to be more happy, within the context of being yourself. It's fab. It's given me permission to do things you enjoy, just because they make you happy. That it's not indulgent to be happy. Why do we not let ourselves do things, "Just for fun"? We are a bunch of bores sometimes! It was reading the first chapter of the book that led me to spend 10 days away on holiday, potentially spending most of that alone - not something I'd have normally been able to do. But I realised that something that made me infinitely happy was quiet... and that hearing almost no cars go past for 10 days is my definition of bliss. Why on earth would I pass that up? It was a brilliant choice and I have this book to thank! Next up is the sequel she's written, "Happier at home". Sure to be very relevant to me as a stay-at-home mum.

Other things I'm really enjoying are the magazine The Simple Things, the Nester's blog "Nesting Place" and her sister's blog "Chatting at the Sky". And I am also reading on my kindle app on my iPhone, Rachel Held Evans' book "A year of Biblical Womanhood".

Oh, and would you guess why it is that I'm finally reading books again? I stopped using Facebook. I no longer read the news feed. I no longer check my notifications. I no longer know anything about anyone. Occasionally I log on to RSVP to an event, or post a photo. But I feel so free. Sooooooo free. Can't begin to describe it. I highly recommend this as a social experiment of sorts, especially if you're prone to anxiety or taking on a lot of stress from other people's stuff. This article helped me make my mind up. I have to make more effort with texting and calling certain friends now, since I don't see what they do online. But for me that is okay. I have more space in my head now, and more time in real life.

Anyone else have any exciting book recommendations, or things that are making them happy?

xx Sarah

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Love blogs? How to read them easily.


Hi friends,

At the risk of this post seeming like an advertisement, I'm putting a plug in for some cool websites/apps that I'm using and make blog reading a breeze.

If you're like me and you love reading a lot of different blogs, it can get hard to keep up and become easy to miss stuff if you're visiting each site separately at a time. Or, if you get them all in your email inbox per day that's hard too because it can get a bit overwhelming. There are maybe only two blogs I read when they enter my email now, unfortunately the rest get deleted as I'm in a hurry to check my emails and log out.

What has worked really well for me is to subscribe using a Reader. This is basically a program where you have an account (like gmail for Google) and you just enter every blog you follow, and it puts it into a format that is easy to manage. You just work your way through the list. (this is the laymans version of explaining such things so just excuse my lack of technical knowlege if you know more than I do!). I was using Google Reader, which was good - because I linked it up then to the Feedly app on my phone. All my Google Reader subscriptions got put into there and became this cool, magazine-like thing that was so easy to read. There has been a bit of press about Google phasing out Reader, so know that Feedly is not dependent on it (it was just easiest for me at the time). It's independent from Google Reader so can be used just as it is.

Now I'm using Bloglovin' and I'm really enjoying it. What it means is I open it up when I have time and am in the mood to do some reading, and it's all there one after the other, looking purretty. Check it out:



So I hope that's useful to somebody, and now you can go ahead and have fun reading to your hearts content! Bloglovin' is good too because it has an app (free) for iPhone in the app store, but is also just a website - so you don't have to be an iPhone user to enjoy it. 

I hope you're enjoying your Easter weekend!

xx Sarah

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

I want to be average

Funny title, huh.

I've spent 10 days on holiday, which has been amazing but actually more than that it has just been necessary. I was on the verge of losing.it. Whatever "it" is.

So, as you do whilst on holiday, I spent some time reevaluating. And that's what has inspired the title of this post - wanting to be average.

Perhaps it's because we just did the census here in New Zealand and I'm in survey mode. But in any case I was thinking about surveys and those ones where you are asked to evaluate the person or performance on a scale - with average in the middle and then below average, very poor, above average, and outstanding on either side.

I am aware that as a person I am out of balance. And that some of the things that I am below average on and above average on, are robbing from other things, or adding to other things, and it's having a bad effect on me.

I made a survey and thought I'd put it here - I've circled my answers. (If it looks small on your screen basically very poor is on the left, average in the middle, outstanding on the right).

(Yes, I'm a dork).




For me to function as a human being and not turn into a vegetable, I need to re-order some stuff in my life. I have placed such a high value on being reliable, dependable, a good friend, saving the day, "Being Jesus", Loving Others, Serving, and doing lots of other very worthwhile things, that I've sacrificed some very basic needs of my own - for example having a shower more than once or twice a week (yes, it's embarrassing, now you know) - and also some important emotional things, like spending time with God, doing things I enjoy, and getting a bit of exercise or eating something healthier than just toast because it happens to be there and is quick. Let alone sleep. I mean, hello. Hard with a three and a half month old baby anyway, but I'm surely not going to get any extra when I'm rushing about trying to be everything to everybody else. And at the end of the day my relationships with my husband and kids suffer if I've got no energy left for them after being there for everyone else. And that's not cool because they are my loves, my legacy, my lifes work and my joy.


 
This is hard for me, because I love people - I love my friends, I love to be there for people, especially those who are lonely. It's either how God made me and is my heart, or it's a result of my upbringing - either way, it's not natural for me to be able to ignore a need. 

I'm having to learn - every need is not necessarily mine to fix or fill. Sometimes prayer is the best thing you can offer. If your family don't get your time or attention when they need it, don't offer it to others until they do. Sometimes peoples feelings might get hurt but if your heart is in the right place then they will understand, if they actually are your friend. Sometimes it is okay to be alone. It is good to do things that make you happy. Sometimes it is okay to say no, and not give a reason why.

So I'm aiming to be average. I can't bring the Very Poor or Below Average areas in my life up unless I bring some of the others down. I'm really, really sorry about that. Does this mean you can no longer depend on me? I think it probably does. Please depend on God instead. He can do so much more than I can. He is a better friend, mentor, and life-giver than I. Way way WAY better! How prideful of me to try to get in there and do his work. Sorry, Jesus. 

And yet I can hear some people say "So Sarah, this is all well and good, but it's still about you DO-ing. What about BE-ing?" Yep, I get that. That's what I'm trying at. I guess this is just a practical way of assessing my life. If I make it clear what I'm heading towards, perhaps people will be able to accept the times I want to just BE. To just sit outside under a tree with my kids. To just sit in a chair with my eyes closed. To just listen to my husband talk. 

Thanks for reading, and for being in my life. I feel the need to apologise and ask forgiveness - but let me say this - none of us, you or I, should ever have to apologise for wanting to be healthier, and happier, and more whole. None of us. So I won't apologise. I will just say to you, Onwards, on your own journey. Go and find God. Go and find Yourself. Go and find freedom. Find life. Discover your future. Live long and prosper... (hang on, is that Star Trek? I got lost there). I think I may need to go rent Pocahontas again...

xx Sarah 

P.S: I plan to do a post or two next about the good books I've read while I was away, and other light-hearted things. I just felt the need to get this one off my chest first.



Saturday, 19 January 2013

Cherished

Today I'm having a go for the first time at "Five Minute Friday", with Lisa-Jo Baker, and it's freaking me out a little! The idea is to write for just five minutes flat, with no editing or thinking too much about it. "why not take 5 minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing." (from her website). Today's word was Cherished - so here we go!


GO

Little blinking eyes, squinting at the world. Head turning left, right, left, right, clunking it's way around my body - shoulder, chin, shoulder. Popping up like a meercat, then down again to nuzzle into my chest.

Baby girl with long, curled up fingers. A little brown birthmark over the left shoulder. Toes so long that they curl around your pinky. Slender legs with chubby skin on top.

A smile that starts from the eyes. It almost looks like she's pretending to wink. Then her mouth opens, the edges of it curl, and it turns into a full-blown, mega-watt, heart-melting grin - eyes twinkling, mouth wide open, utter joy.

Each day, each week will bring new changes. I can see her in gumboots, splashing through puddles, waddling around all crazy-like as she learns to walk. Sitting in the sand pit, exploring this new thing with her hands and then eating it, wrinkling up her face. Running after her brother and sister, screaming, giggling, bellowing. I wonder if you'll be as loud as them, my dear, cherished baby girl.

STOP

xx Sarah

Five Minute Friday

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

My One Word for 2013

Around the internet in Christian Blogging particularly, there is a movement (for lack of a better word) that encourages people to choose one word for their year. More than a new years resolution, it's something to focus on for the year, something to let shape you and your decisions.

The One Word 365 website says it well: "Forget New Years resolutions. Scrap that long list of goals you won't remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word. One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long."

I've wanted to do this for 2013 but have been praying and pondering for two weeks now, and the only word that I have in my mind seems... well... "wussy". For anyone who doesn't know that word (and didn't go to primary school in New Zealand), that means that I think my word is a cop-out. Chicken. A bit sort of unimpressive and lazy. But I think that it is right for me, for where myself and my family find ourselves, and it is something I need to learn.


Rest. Yep. Spectacular huh?

I'm resigned to it now, and here's what I think it means for me.

I need to learn to rest, physically. To stop, spend time being quiet, reading the bible, looking around me, and not worrying about what I need to do next.

I need to rest from my obsessive need to be involved in thing, to be "in the know". I wrote last year about resting from my own expectations. I'm still learning that.

To rest with my children. Instead of being so busy that I hardly have time to look at them, I want to look into their eyes, play with them, and talk to them.

As a family I want us to schedule life around rest, instead of scheduling our rest around our life (and therefore never resting). I want to take weekends away with friends. Have people over to share food with and chat. To see my husband getting active rest - he rests by being physical. To make time for him to be able to do things he loves and that are restful for him. And when he does the same for me, to choose wisely and to actually rest, not rush around "doing" stuff.

How this fits with all my high and lofty intentions to read lots of books, write more, and re-do my house, I have no idea. But I'll keep you posted.

Has anyone else chosen their one word?

If you'd like to know more, check out these websites and blogs:

The One Word 365 website.

Sarah Bessey shares her One Word.

SheLoves Magazine writes about the One Word movement.

Nish at Nish Happens shares hers.

xx Sarah.

Friday, 11 January 2013

Read those books!

 As it is January, I am in my usual annual Goal-Making zone. This usually fizzles out by mid February. So I had better make the most of it now!

I have a few things that I am going to write about in the weeks to come, but thought I'd start with sharing about this. I am a chronic book buyer. I like to think I'm a chronic book reader, but alas, that has not been the case for a while. I even have "book devourer" on my Pinterest bio! A bit of false marketing there I feel...

This year I'd like to put that right. I want to read all the books that I bought last year and the year before (some of them may pre-date that, but not many), and not buy more. At least until I'm most of the way through the list. Or unless it's something really amazing... Anyway.


Here's the list. After I finish each book I'm going to share here what I thought about it - a review of sorts. I must stress that the reason these books are unread, or only halfway read, is not because they are bad books, but because I am slack. And addicted to buying books. I'll note beside each book whether they are unread or half finished.

Interrupted: Jen Hatmaker. Unread, but leant out to others who said it was great.
Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible: Liz Curtis Higgs. Am a few chapters in.
Grace Based Parenting: Tim Kimmell. Unread, bought most recently.
How to be Pentecostal without speaking in Tongues: Tony Campolo. Unread.
Lioness Arising: Lisa Bevere. Half finished.
Boundaries: Cloud & Townsend. A few chapters in.
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made: Philip Yancey and Paul Brand. Unread.
Spirit-led Parenting: Tietz & Oyer. This was bought for someone else, I sneakily read about half of it before giving it to her - she has leant it back to me to read.
The Story of God, the Story of Us: Sean Gladding. Unread.
Velvet Elvis: Rob Bell. Unread.
The Practice of Love: various writers. Half finished.
Life Interrupted: Priscilla Shirer. Unread.
Loving our Kids on Purpose: Danny Silk. Currently reading.
Joyce Meyer: Battlefield of the Mind. Unread.
You are not what you weigh: Lisa Bevere. A few chapters in.

So there we go, slightly embarrassing but oh well.

I've started with Danny Silk's "Loving our Kids on Purpose", and it's fantastic. I got that one and the Tim Kimmell book on Sarah Bessey's recommendation, from her list of "Books that influenced her parenting". It's so good to have books recommended to you by someone you respect so much.

In line with this post and the previous one, I'm changing the tone of this blog a bit from now on. It has tended to be somewhere to go when I want to write a big long preacher-like rant, and I've felt a bit boxed in by that. So from now on I'm going to try to write about books, life stuff, and interior design - following along with our home renovations. In time I might feel like I have to split the blog into two, but I'd have to be writing a whole lot to get to that I think. I like sharing and writing, but struggle with how much or how little to share. So I'll just figure that out as I go. 

Has anyone else got some book recommendations, or unfinished books waiting to be read that they would ike to share?

xx Sarah

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

It's a new year!

It's the first of January 2013 and I have been doing a lot of thinking about blogging and what I want to share and do. I'm also thinking I needed to be more organised and go to the supermarket yesterday, when it wasn't a public holiday! Ah well, it's toast and peanut butter for our family today!

I have a few things in mind for goals, or resolutions - which I am always useless at sticking to (which is why I am not officially making any this time!) - for this year. 2012 was consumed by growing a baby and then having her. Beautiful Yvonne is 6 weeks old tomorrow and she's a lovely wee thing. I'm not attempting to do anything too majestic with a wee baby, so I think perhaps these things on my mind aren't goals as such - just lifestyle changes. There are so many things I love to do, yet instead of doing them I spend a lot of time browsing the net, looking at other peoples interesting lives! As lovely as pretty interior design sites and Pinterest and amazing blogs are, they can be a bit of a trap, and an escape place from my own life.

Photo of Yvonne's precious feet by Jo Conroy Photography

So this year I'll be attempting to write on my own blog a bit more, about the life I am living offline, and hope that I'll spend less time observing everyone else. Or at least that I can put healthy limits around activities that aren't in line with how I want to live.

It should be interesting!

So watch this space for hopefully more posts from me where I'll be sharing more of these "lifestyle changes" and letting you know how I'm getting on with them.

Happy 2013!

Does anyone else have any goals/resolutions/lifestyle changes you want to tell me? So that I can feel inspired!

xx Sarah