A rant about teen girls mags and Bella

So this is the latest "Girlfriend" magazine, with Lea Michele from Glee in her undies. Great, isn't it? Doesn't it just make you so happy? Especially when you know that Girlfriend's target audience is 12-17 year old girls.
I'm being sarcastic, in case you hadn't guessed it. I had to rent this from the library because I couldn't bear to pay money for it. I have got to say, what is up with this pose, as well?! You see it too often. Tina Francis from SheLovesMagazine wrote an awesome write up about this for her column, which I loved, where she uses the example of Beyonce: "Take Beyonce’s music video “Run the World” for example. Ms. Knowles is singing about female empowerment on all fours in front of a car... How does a woman living in today’s world define “dignity” when the media tells us we are most appreciated on our knees, half-dressed, preferably in front of an automobile."
And the thing that really bugs me is that these 12-17 year old girls are going to be posing just like Miss Lea Michele on their facebook pages and their cellphones, with no idea of the implications. The state of our world and the trashy messages our girls are sent just makes me feel sick to my stomach.
We accept so much of what we see in magazines, on screen, in music videos and on t shirts and in advertisements without question. How much of it is shaping our perceptions of ourselves? A lot, in my opinion. There are a lot of shows that I just can't watch more than 5 minutes of without feeling terrible about myself and angry at the world. All the Top Model shows, for example. (I know that many of you love them so won't agree.) Glee, is another one. Loved the singing, hated the content, hated how it made me feel, and just had to give it up.
I'm not sure what the makers of the standard teen girl mags are thinking when they produce some of this content. Perhaps they think they are giving girls what they want - that girls know all about sex anyway and are obsessed with getting boyfriends, therefore they need to cater to that with their content and the way they word the answers to their questions. Read the "advice" columns in these magazines, you'll get advice all right - a manual about sex. While they often tell girls that you shouldn't have sex until you are ready, they don't go into enough detail or enough of the WHY. There's no talk of emotional consequences, and the amount of information they give makes it seem like getting into a sexual relationship in your early and mid teens is so normal. Oh, and another cringe factor - one of the "guys we love" in this months issue is an actor from the tv show "The Almighty Johnsons", from the makers of Outrageous Fortune - a show with unbelievably explicit content. I think I might have to throw my television out the window when my girl turns 12. No, I say that flippantly - but I will be watching what she watches and talking about it with her.
Anyway. There is hope. Hope in the form of Bella magazine. Bella is produced in Australia by an amazing group of women from Toowomba, Queensland, and is an alternative to these other girls mags, aimed at 13-19 year old girls. We have the rights here in New Zealand to make our own version of it, and I'm excited for the day when that becomes a reality. Bella is not a Christian magazine, (though those of us who are behind it are Christians), it is something any girl will relate to. But it gives a much more balanced view of the issues and questions that girls have, and is all about helping girls realise their unique value, strength and purpose. With Bella we say that girls are valuable, are worthwhile, just because of who they are - just because they exist. Not because of anything they can do or offer a man, not because of their looks or their body, not if they meet a list of expectations: skinny enough, popular enough, well-dressed enough. Just.Because.You.Are.You.
I love this answer in the latest Bella when a girl writes about how she hates herself, and asks how she can keep her sense of value. "Every girl is beautiful! Bella believes that you are beautiful and we want you to believe you are beautiful, awesome, precious and have worth - not just some of the time but ALL of the time. If people are mean to you, then they are not your friends. You deserve better than that, and you don't need to allow people to be mean to you. It may seem like a hard thing to leave your group and meet some new friends, but if they mostly make you feel bad and hate yourself, then that is wrong of them. That is not how friends act. You don't need to be surrounded by a big group of people to realise how beautiful and amazing you are. Sometimes just one friend is all that is needed to realise the truth and to help you like yourself." (from Bella Summer 2011/2012)
We are just at the beginning of the journey with Bella, so please if you like what you hear then get involved. Find our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter, and buy a subscription!
There are many things in my life that I love and are passionate about at the moment, and Bella is one of them, so I felt I needed to write about it. I hope it's inspired someone.
And speaking of things that are inspiring me, I got given "Lioness Arising" by Lisa Bevere for my birthday, and I just loved this on the first page:

YES. YES. YES.
xx Sarah

Harmony and Peace-making

Anyone who says they automatically get on with everyone is lying.
None of us, even the most kind and loving nun-like people out there, will find it easy to "like" everyone we meet. Most of the time we're going to clash, aren't we.
And then there are the times that things just turn sour. A friendship goes bad, a relationship breaks up, words get spoken, hurt occurs. Try liking that person. Not so easy. Then try forgiving them. Really hard.
I'm pondering all this stuff in relation to churches and christians and how on earth we are meant to be the light of the world when we look exactly like everybody else. If it were possible to stick hidden cameras inside the living rooms of all the christians and tape us for a week I bet we'd be pretty horrified. It makes me so sad.
Now, let me make it quite clear - I'm not bagging about my particular church. I looooovvvveee my church with all it's reality and imperfections, all of us together with our hurts and our joys and our dreams. This post isn't a finger pointing exercise. 
I'm not sitting here on a high horse pretending I'm perfect. But I am trying. And that's what I want for us as the church of God, the bride of Christ, His people, His children. To at least make an honest, heart-felt attempt at doing the stuff we're told to do in the word. Rather than perhaps exhausting our energy talking about everyone else we've decided has got it wrong.
I'm really sorry if this is a downer, that's not really my intention. If I could preach a sermon this week it'd be on peace-making. I remember reading in the last few months somewhere, that peace-making involves conflict, and confrontation. Sometimes to be a peacemaker is to disrupt the "peace". Especially if the peace is fake.
I've been trawling through the new testament tonight and there is verse, after verse, after verse telling us what we need to do as Christians, as the church. They are so beautiful. Such an incredibly amazing picture of the potential we have.
Here goes:

"I beg you to live a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind yourselves together in peace." Ephesians 4:1-3

"May the Lord make your love grow and overflow to each other and to everyone else, just as our love overflows toward you." 1 Thessalonians 3:12

"I pray that your love for each other will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in your knowledge and understanding." Phillippians 1:9

"Make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other , loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose." Phillippians 2: 2

"My goal is that they will be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love." Colossians 2:2

"You must make allowances for one anothers faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you , so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful." Colossians 3:13-15

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness." James 3: 17&18

"So get rid of all malicious behaviour and deceit. Don't just pretend to be good! Be done with hypocrisy and jealousy and backstabbing" 1 Peter 2:1

"All of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. instead pay them back with a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8&9

"If anyone says "I am living in the light," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness." 1 John 2:9

"If someone says "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar, for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we have not seen? And God himself has commanded that we must love not only him but our Christian brohters and sisters too". 1 John 4:20&21

"Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions." 1 John 3:18

"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:9&10

"If people persecute you because you are a Christian, don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow.  Live in harmony with each other." Romans 12:14&15

"Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible." Romans 12:18

"Stop arguing among yourselves. Let there be real harmony so there won't be divisons in the church. I plead with you to be of one mind, united in thought and purpose". 1 Corinthians 1:10

"And everything you do must be done with love" 1 Corinthians 16:14

It's just heart-breakingly, breath-takingly, unbelievably beautiful. I want to be a part of that so much. A couple of years ago I had a revelation, sometimes it's not enough to just forgive. Sometimes you need to move beyond forgiveness into love. Is it easy? No. But when you trust God, when you know yourself held in his arms, loved unconditionally, and you know that he wants what is best for you... then he will give you the courage to risk it all and forgive, and forgive again. And as Joyce Meyer says, do it for yourself. Set yourself free. Let God be the judge, and quit trying to deal out the punishment on your own.
I ponder these things, and I feel a knot in my stomach, and I try to figure out how on earth we make this fit into our church boxes and our little Christian worlds...

God, change my heart, turn my world upside down, make us reflect You... in harmony, at peace, full of love. Amen.

A new favourite song:



xx Sarah